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There is a church in Tooting, invisible for it is without signs, hidden downstairs and behind brick walls. The reason for keeping it secret I don’t know; I don’t think it is taboo – a sect that is illegal or irreligious. No one from the government is going to shut it down, no one is being trained for terrorism or aggressive evangelism. There are no animal sacrifices, nor hooded costumes; no red-painted satanism.

I have enjoyed their services in fact. They work hard, they preach with enthusiasm and fervour. It is like other churches in that people there worship Jesus and pray. And each time they are willing to bless you, and your meat and potatoes.

Last time I visited it we were given a free bottle of water, consecrated with oil that a bishop had blessed on Mount Sinai of all places. Sprinkling it discreetly – as the pastor told us – on doorsteps, or tables, wherever you like – would then invite the mercy and good will of God. I’m not sure I believe this 100% but I like it. And more people should too.

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