Nocturnal Injuries

Is sleeping bad for your health? Surely it is a healthy, worthwhile way of spending your time. I have unfortunately been sleeping oddly, which of course I have no control over. So I have developed a rather nasty case of 'Frozen Shoulder.' And then to add injury to injury I have mysteriously strained my calf and damaged my ankle. And in so doing I have completely injured the left hand side of my body. To solve this issue, I have been for two massages from my local Chinese health shop. This alternates from pain to pleasure faster than a dominatrix with an ice cream. My doctor there, a Dr. Chen, recommends me doing arm and shoulder stretches. However I have recently noticed that whilst doing these stretches I turn into some kind of practicing ballet dancer. I am unwilling though to pay for lessons, a tutor or those pointy pink shoes in order to improve my lacklustre stretching skills. I'd rather have the dodgy shoulder.

If this happens during my sleep I have begun to worry what would happen in rather more dangerous situations. What would happen for instance if I did something worse - like hang-gliding in a guillotine?

Probably nothing...unless I fell asleep.